relationship advice!

Relationships are one of the most important things in life. Almost everyone wants someone to love him or her, or at least someone to have as a companion. 

Relationships mean different things to different people, but it’s important for the two people in any couple to have similar desires in regards to the relationship.

If one partner wants marriage and children, and the other partner wants an open relationship, this relationship isn’t likely to work. If it did work, it would take a tremendous amount of effort on the part of both people, and it would also probably take a lot of therapy and patience.

The key to having a healthy relationship isn’t working at it. The key to having a healthy relationship is finding a partner that doesn’t require a lot of work to be in a relationship with in the first place. It may be true that opposites attract, but they don’t stick together for long!

If you’re already in a relationship with someone and it seems to be taking a lot of work, you have two choices. You can either get out of that relationship and try to find a more compatible partner, or you can stick it out and try to make it work.

If you decide to stick it out, you’re probably both going to end up being very miserable for many years and it may still not work, but that’s a decision you both have to make. You might be able to make it work if you’re both willing to make some changes and perhaps attend therapy sessions together. Otherwise it may be a life of misery for both of you.

Beauty

Hi everyone!

Today, I want to discuss a rather divisive and controversial subject: beauty. Obviously, beauty is made up of many different layers. In recent years, people have been trying to push for women (and men, for that matter) to focus more on their inner beauty than on their physical appearance. It’s very important to be confident in your personal qualities; I would argue that beauty is composed mostly of self-confidence in one’s qualities. However, as much as it may seem superficial, I do think it’s important to be satisfied with your physical appearance as well. That doesn’t mean that you need to look like a photoshopped magazine cover; it simply means that you make enough of an effort towards your appearance that you feel confident in yourself.

I realize that my stance may be offensive to some, but this is simply my opinion. If you are completely confident in yourself, inside and out, without making any effort to contribute to this confidence, that’s wonderful. For most people, though, I think things like exercising or buying new clothes every so often are really helpful for one’s self-confidence in their appearance. Besides, it’s not shameful to want self-improvement. Don’t think of it as something people do when they are dissatisfied with themselves; think of it as an affirmation that you believe you deserve the improvement.

Remember: beauty is not a specific set of criteria. Just because the media plasters pictures of voluptuous celebrities everywhere and calls them “sexy” does not mean thatyou have to look like that. Besides, society’s definition of beauty changes all the time and varies from place to place. Consider this portrait of María Cayetana de Silva, 13th duchess of of Alba, painted in 1795:

This woman was considered the most beautiful in all of Europe during her day. She’s still gorgeous in this portrait, but look at how different the standard of beauty was then from how it is now. Another example is the Ancient Egyptian queen Nefertiti, pictured here:

Again, look at how different this standard of beauty is from the present. It’s fascinating to see what people considered “beautiful” back in time, isn’t it? And finally, compare these with the popular singer Katy Perry today:

Anyway, this is just some food for thought. I encourage you to look up the history of beauty. It’s actually really interesting!

Self-confidence

Hello!

Do you ever have one of those days where you look in the mirror and feel like crawling right back into bed? Or, as you pass by a store window while you’re out and about, you catch a glimpse of yourself and wonder, is that really me? Almost everyone deals with these kind of thoughts, but the negative feelings associated with them can be harmful to anyone’s self-esteem if they are left to ruminate in the mind.

Being confident in yourself doesn’t just mean being confident in how you look. In fact, it’s even more important that you feel confident in who you are before you begin working on your own self-image.

When you feel bombarded by negative thoughts about yourself, STOP. Think to yourself, why am I feeling this way? Am I being realistic? What are some positives about myself? Don’t let yourself fall back into that negative thinking pattern. You have to consciously turn your thoughts around from negative to positive.

Here are some methods that you can use when you start having negative thoughts about yourself:

• Step back for a minute. What would a completely unbiased person outside of this situation say about me? Am I simply being too hard on myself?
• Gauge the situation. Is what I’m worrying over really that big of a deal?
• Ask for advice. Who is someone I trust that will support me and give me honest advice?
• Write about it. Write down your feelings at the moment, whether it be online in a blog form, on a piece of paper, or on your phone. In a few days, look back at your notes and you’ll see that your worries really weren’t that bad after all!

And lastly, I leave you with this video. It always cheers me up!

watch?v=qR3rK0kZFkg

How to break up with a guy without breaking his heart !

Here’s the ugly truth: break-ups are never fun, and they’re never going to be fun. It doesn’t matter how long you dated someone, or what the situation is, break ups are the worst—for both people involved. I wish I could tell you there was a way to get out of a relationship without hurting anybody’s feelings, but um, there usually isn’t. I can tell you this, though: staying with someone you don’t like isn’t just hurting you, it’s also keeping the person you’re dating from finding someone who might be totally psyched and happy to date them. You see how that’s not really fair?

Aside from keeping your guy or girl from a really happy relationship—you’re also kind of making yourself miserable, and relationships should make you happy, not miserable! For another thing, he’ll probably be able to pick up on the fact that something is wrong—and if he ever finds out that you’re with him out of pity,  that might hurt even more than a break-up would.

Not every breakup has to be as dramatic as Rihanna's in We Found Love

The most respectful way to break up is in person—I mean,you wouldn’t want a text or FB message saying you and some guy were splitzo, would you? Tell him you care about him, but your feelings have changed. Keep it short and simple, and try not to blame him for the relationship going south. As for the old “let’s still be friends” cliche, only say it if you really mean it—and be prepared for him to want to never see you again. Sometimes having your heart broken makes a friendship impossible.

Even if you say and do all those things, I can’t promise that it will be easy. Sometimes the nicest words can be said during a break-up, but the fact remains that it is just a hard thing to go through. This guy might be upset, and his heart might be broken, you’re doing the best thing for both of you by splitting it off with him now. One day he’ll get over your fabulous self and you’ll both find other fabulous people to be with. Until then . . .

take care.